We should all make everything about us because when you know how to take good care of yourself, then you can take care of others in a better way.

Keywords: BLOG SPACE

I used to think like that [differently] when I was in my twenties. I stayed in horrible relationships for a long time just to be able to say I was in a relationship. What?? I let guys treat me poorly because I didn’t want society to judge me as a single lady. Crazy, right? I settled for less because I didn’t want to be alone. I know this is way more common than we might think. Back then, I was trying to fit into society’s norm.


Allow yourself to be vulnerable and lovable

Keywords: love , patterns , relationships , dating , introspection

You focus on loving yourself, because without self-love, you cannot love another human. And you need to understand someone else does not complete you. As a person who would love a long term partner yesterday, I know this future partner cannot save me, fix me, or 100% fulfill me as there are too many wants and needs in my lifetime to be the responsibility of one person. That does not mean I need multiple partners. It means I am trying to apply healthy expectations of what I look for in a partner. I do not want a lust based relationship. And that has nothing to do with the sexual desire and intimacy that comes from physical attraction, mental attraction, intimate connection, what have you. I want love that is founded on something more than my mind and body telling me I have chemistry because I am pulled towards another toxic relationship.


Even with my disdain for texting, I realize that whenever I meet someone new, I will text my date more frequently than I text my best friends and inexplicably, I’ll expect him to do the same as well

Keywords: first times , love , personal essays , dating , dating in singapore , dating without constant texting , dating without texting , love , modern love , modern relationships , modern romance , slow texting , texting behaviors , texting patterns

Dating in the age of cell phones puts a lot of pressure on young millennial couples to keep in constant contact throughout the day, even if it means engaging in lacklustre, mediocre conversations. After all, most of us are on our cell phones almost most of – if not, all – the time. As such, not receiving a text from someone that you are interested in would put one on edge. Both parties start second-guessing each other the moment the frequency of texts drop: Is he no longer interested in me? Is he ghosting me? Why hasn’t he responded even though he has already read my text? Why has he yet to respond to the text I sent him hours ago when he was last seen online five minutes ago? What does it mean when he likes my post on Instagram but ignores my texts?  It’s easy to be paranoid and overanalyze texting habits, or even lash out at the party who fails to keep up with the routine.


A really valuable part of this journey was the discovery that I have often sought the wrong type of companionship

Keywords: relationships , love , dating , moderndating , 30s , advice , wellbeing , funny , blogger , entertainment , tinder , blogging , mentalhealth

I’m very much of the anxious preoccupied attachment persuasion and love the idea of a partner so I cling on to them for fear that they will leave, even if I’m not actually that devoted to them


Pull off the blindfold and really see the person for who they really are

Keywords: patterns , mental health , cancer , introspection , love , relationships

If you see someone through rose colored glasses, you will ultimately be confronted with all the issues you are ignoring, excusing, or rationalizing away. On the flip side, you may choose partners who feel safe, aka toxic because that is what you are used to, and ultimately sabotage a relationship with the very type of person you think you seek. Hopefully you will do neither of these things. But the likelihood is you will do both.