Making an intention to attract others who love us for our depth and inner beauty is a really healthy motivation, otherwise our concern for self-image is a strategy to attract what we already possess inside, and can be missing the point

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An example of applying a strategy instead of creating true connection is selling ourselves by trying to impress someone with our idealized image of ourselves, instead of expressing our honest feelings. But we are in fact selling ourselves short. We may cut off our vulnerabilities, which makes us the most lovable, to impress others with our knowledge, our looks, or our judgements and evaluations, which are conditional forms of love. These are strategies to protect ourselves from getting hurt, blocking us from the love we most want.

I now also want to go to these places (or “our places” as the romantic in us would have called them) to feel the way it would have felt if we went there together

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Maybe it sucks for others to see us pining for those who have already gone, but hey, sometimes the heart wants what it wants, no matter how stupid it sounds and looks, and there is nothing you can do about it.

I have a good relationship with each one of my exes

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I still don’t get what the fuss about exes is. It seems that the idea of them being familiar is what gets people. Some people say they never have feelings for any ex. Once it’s done, it’s done. I am one of those people. I spent my day with a great guy by all standards and he still couldn’t elicit an emotional or sexual response from me. But hey, there really isn’t anything wrong in getting back with an ex if your heart can handle it. All you have to do is treat the relationship as a new one and let go of the past.